i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize