wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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