I got chris browned last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
