why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
