All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
