is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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