Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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