worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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