His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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