I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I looked at my own cervix.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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