I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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