It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
