I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
