1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This baby is an asshole
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
