Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
