He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
