YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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