Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nicole vs. Life
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
