he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
