She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
