He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
