Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
