I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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