According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
