Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
