9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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