I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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