I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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