no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
