Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
