dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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