I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just pynch a tree in the face
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't deserve a penis
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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