im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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