So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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