their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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