Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
