so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
