I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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