I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
