is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize