She is in my trunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
