Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
