My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
