I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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