doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He kissed a someone with a penis
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
