My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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