Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
