my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
