i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
