Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
