Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
