He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
