All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
