Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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