I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
