My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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