In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
