I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
