I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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