Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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