i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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