apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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