Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
