you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
