Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
