its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
