i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
birth control should be required to get into college
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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