Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize