Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
