I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Farmville is her only friend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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